Coming Home for Christmas
by TheParker
Summary: When Lisbon's brother dies in a car crash Lisbon leaves the CBI and moves to New York to support his 17 year old, pregnant, girlfriend.3 years later she returns to Sacramento.T for family death.
1. Prologue

**Coming Home for Christmas**

_AN: This is my first fanfic so please don't be so hard on me._

_Pairings: Jisbon (for now)_

_Plot: When Lisbon's brother dies in a car crash Lisbon leaves the CBI and moves to new York to support his 17 year old, pregnant, girlfriend.3 years later she returns to Sacramento._

_I don't own the Mentalist._

**Prologue**

Countless times I've taken these steps.

Countless times I've been standing at this very spot.

Countless times I've been worried about my job, my career, yes, even my live.

But somehow I've never been so terrified before.

I stood in front of Hightower's office for almost 10 minutes now, sometimes raising my hand to knock on the wooden door then hesitating because I couldn't bring up the courage to do so and finally dropping my hand again. I knew this conversation would change my life and I didn't want it to. I was scared of changes. I wanted my old life to last as long as possible, but I knew I had no choice and I couldn't avoid it anyway so I raised my hand once more and, finally, knocked on the door.

"Come in, please" I heard Hightower's muffled voice from the inside. I took one last deep breath, then opened the door and stepped in.

_AN: Anyone interested in beta reading my stories?_


	2. Leaving

**Chapter 1: Leaving**

Hightower pointed to the chair in front of her desk.

"Sit down, Lisbon."

I followed her order and sat down. The next few minutes she just sat there, staring at me. We both knew what this was about but I wanted her to speak up first.

"I heard about your brother, Lisbon. I'm very sorry for your loss."

I nodded.

Two weeks ago Tommy, my youngest brother, had died in a car crash at the age of 20. The same day the police informed me that my little brother had a girlfriend nobody knew of. And, as if I haven't already been shocked enough, his girlfriend was 17… and pregnant.

His girlfriends name was Holly. Holly Fuller. When I first met her she was an emotional wreck. She threw her arms around me and cried for what felt like hours. Still sobbing she told me her parents had disowned her and didn't want anything to do with her or the baby anymore. She had absolutely no idea where to stay and what to do. She had no money, no home, no family.

"Have you made a decision yet?"

I nodded.

"Yes, mam. First of all I will go to New York, arrange the funeral."

"And what about the girl?"

"I think I don't have any choice but stay with her and help her with the baby until she can sort things out and get grip of her life again."

Hightower started nervously clicking her pen. I found it I bit distracting but didn't say a word.

"What about her parents? Why don't you just leave it to them?"

"Her parents won't be of any help, I'm afraid. They don't want anything to do with the baby."

"So now what? You're resigning and moving to New York or what?"

Was that _anger _in her voice? I knew I didn't count much to her. I was Jane's babysitter, nothing more, and in her opinion I didn't even do _that_ well. Minnelli had always been convinced of my abilities as senior agent but to Hightower _Jane_ was the golden goose. Sure, he did close cases but it wasn't like he was doing all the work with us sitting by watching.

"You know… if you left…that would be a great loss for the CBI."

She seemed pretty serious but I just snorted.

"Yeah, as if."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Oh come on, Hightower! You've always treated me like I was worthless for the CBI and threatened to fire me for Jane's behavior and now that? I find that difficult to believe."

"Jane's the one who closes the cases, Miss Lisbon."

Now I got really mad at her. Who did she think she was, speaking to me like that? She might have been my boss but she had _no _right to offend me like that! I stood up and bent over her desk.

"Jane's the one who closes cases? Jane? I admit, Jane's highly intelligent and yes, he's mostly cracking the case before we do but _we_, my team and I close cases. Jane belongs to that _team_. Jane's the reason why we get complaints on daily basis. He messes up _every single _investigation! We closed cases before Jane joined the CBI and we will still close cases when he is rotting in prison for killing Red John."

I felt tears coming up bit I didn't allow them to fall. Not in front of _her_. _Never_.

"And it's _your_ job to stop Jane from doing so."

I felt the blood boiling inside my veins. I had to get out of there. I wanted to scream. I managed to let my voice sound calm. Calm and ice cold.

"You'll have my resignation on your desk by tomorrow. Now if you excuse me I'd like to go."

I turned around and stormed out of the office into the bullpen. I saw Jane "sleeping" on "his" couch and barked: " Jane! My office- NOW!" He "woke up" and exchanged glances with the others.

"What did I do now?" he sighed and got up.

"Jane would you _please_ hurry up."

I knew I shouldn't be so harsh on him but I was going nuts inside my office. He shut the door behind him.

"What's wrong Lisbon?"

I didn't want to talk to him while I was so furious so I just ran around in my office. I went to the door, shut the blinds and turned around.

"There's something we need to talk about."

He stepped closer to me and looked at me worriedly.

"What. Is. Wrong. Lisbon?" He asked again. I sighed slightly and tried to calm myself down. Having him so close to me didn't really help!

"I have to ask you a favor."

He smiled his megawatt smile.

"What is it Lisbon? Just tell me. You need me to act as your boyfriend?"

"What? No! Jane this is serious." Now he looked suspicious. "I'm going to leave soon and I'm _pleading _ you to treat my replacement respectful and not to screw up every single case with your stupid tricks. I tell you, somebody will somehow end up dead or in hospital. Please don't make his or her life a living hell."

He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He looked even more confused. His gazed dropped to the floor then he looked right into my eyes, his mouth still open. I felt the urge to kiss that stupid face off of him but I knew that wasn't a good idea at all.

"You…are leaving?" His voice was quiet and sounded sad, almost broken. I nodded.

"Yes, Jane."

"Why? What for? Lisbon you _can't_ go! I need your help you know that!"

The urge to throw my arms around him and kiss him senseless became stronger and stronger.

"You don't really need my help, Jane. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt will still be here. They'll be there for you."

"But they don't understand me the way you do! You…you can't go, Lisbon, you _have _to stay!"

I felt the tears coming again. I took a step back and shook my head. He looked so hurt, so vulnerable. I tried to avoid his gaze but he wouldn't let me.

"I would stay if I had a choice" I whispered.

"Why are you leaving anyway?"

"For…personal reasons. Listen, Jane, I really don't want to talk about that now."

"You don't want to talk about it or you don't want to talk about it with _me_? I thought you were my friend, Lisbon, and now you're leaving me? Just like that?"

"I _am_ your friend, Jane! I just can't talk about it now…here. And it's not like I will be gone forever."

He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to pull himself together.

"For how long will you be gone?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe 3 years, maybe more, maybe less. I don't know."

"THREE YEARS?" He was furious now. "You will be gone for THREE _YEARS_ and didn't even consider telling me about your plans?"

"I am telling you now, ain't I?"

He shook his head in disbelieve. I've never seen him like this before. He was letting his guards down.

"When are you going?"

"Tomorrow."

"Where are you going?"

"To New York"

"Does this involve a man?"

"Yes, it does." His face dropped. "My brother, Jane, my brother!"

He began to understand. His eyes widened.

"Oh. I see this is pretty serious. I'm sorry, Lisbon. Will you tell me what happened to your brother?"

I couldn't stop the tears from falling any longer but I cried in silent. He hugged me, tried to comfort me but it didn't work. I buried my head in his chest and let the tears fall. He stroked my back and whispered soothing words into my ear. I was mad at everyone. Mad at Hightower for offending me, mad at Tommy for leaving me and not having the trust in me to tell me his girlfriend was pregnant, mad at Jane for being him, mad at Holly's parents for letting her down, mad at myself for being mad at everyone and being so stupid to cry in front of very special consultant Patrick Jane.

"It's okay, Lisbon, just let it all out. And…just come back as soon as possible. I hope you are aware that I'm expecting _at least _one e-mail every week."

I laughed and slapped him playfully.

"Ow! What was that for? That hurt, Lisbon. I'm serious."

And there it was. His megawatt grin. I couldn't help but smile. He always made me feel better and right now, I loved him for being him. He wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"Ready to face the others? I think they are probably going crazy out there not knowing what's going on in here."

"Do I look as if I were ready?"

He grimaced and raised an eyebrow. I chuckled at his expression. He was still beautiful when he tried not to be. I caught myself staring at his lips and blushing I turned around to open the blinds but Jane grabbed my wrist with one hand. The other landed on my shoulder.

"See you're already smiling again. And you have to tell them sooner or later anyway. It's not such a big deal. You even said it yourself: it's not like you're going to be gone forever." He paused and then smiled mischievously. "They'll probably think I got you pregnant and now you're running away from me."

I just heard 'I got you pregnant' and my mind stopped working.

"Why would they think that?"

He flashed his smile at me and shook his head.

"Never mind. Now go out there and finish what you started."

I rolled my eyes on him and gave him the no-nonsense look.

"You already sound like my baseball coach."

"Uh uh. You're so not changing the topic now, my dear." He opened the door for me and gestured me to go. "Now off you go!"

I stepped out of the office and caught everybody looking at me. Cho stoic, as always, Van Pelt tried to hide her red cheeks (seemed like she overheard my fight with Jane) and Rigsby "innocently" bit into his sandwich. Jane shoved me further into the bullpen.

"Guys, Lisbon wants to tell you something very important so please listen carefully."

I shot him an angry look and searched for the right words. I remembered Jane talking about them thinking he got me pregnant so I decided not to mention the baby.

"Well" I simply said. "I'm moving to New York."

Their reactions were...well, different. Cho just kept staring at me with his typical face but there was confusion in his gaze now. Van Pelt looked absolutely shocked and Rigsby simply stopped chewing. Jane grinned and gave me thumbs up. Sometimes he really acted like a nine-year-old. Van Pelt was the first opening her mouth.

"Boss…" She started but didn't end her sentence. She exchanged confused looks with Rigsby. Cho was the next one to speak.

"When?" He asked. He never spoke much.

I bit my lip nervously. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Wow." Was all Rigsby said.

"So this is our final goodbye?" Van Pelt asked and I nodded. "We're gonna miss you, boss."

Rigsby laughed. "Well, Jane will miss you the most, that's for sure."

I looked at Jane and our eyes connected. He still looked a little shaken and somehow hurt. I managed to smile.

"He'll find somebody else to annoy."

Jane didn't say anything.

"You guys can go back to work now"

Van Pelt and Rigsby immediately started working again (well, Van Pelt started working, Rigsby started eating) while Cho stared at me a little longer. I decided to call him later to explain the situation. He'd understand.

I stayed late that evening. I filled in my resignation and put it on Hightower's desk (thank god she was already gone). Then I put all my personal stuff into a box and left my office. Everyone had left except Jane. He stood in the middle of the bullpen, waiting for me. He took the box and guided my out of the building, to my car. He gave me the box and I opened the door to get in but then I turned around. I put the pox down, hugged Jane and whispered: "Thank you Jane, for everything."

He gave me a soft kiss on the cheek and poked me, flashing his megawatt grin. "You're welcome."

So there we stood. Outside the CBI building, facing each other, just inches apart. I was wondering whether I should kiss him or not. He had still put on his grin and he looked so adorable with his blond curls framing his beautiful face. I was aware this would be the last time I saw him for a long, long time but then he moved his hand and his wedding band reflected the last bit of sunlight so I decided not to kiss him. Instead I hugged him again.

"Goodbye Jane, it was a pleasure to work with you…sometimes."

"Good night Lisbon. See you in three years."

Smiling I got into my car and started the engine. A sad smile was playing on my lips as I drove away.

_AN: I like the badass-like Hightower :D. TBC_


	3. Home,Sweet Home

Chapter 2: Home, Sweet Home

_Three years later…_

"Home, sweet home." I thought to myself and smiled.

After three long and exhausting years in the bustling hub that was New York City, helping to raise a baby no less, I was finally back. Ready to get back to my normal life. Only a few days ago Hightower had called me and said she had an early Christmas present for me. She wanted me back with the CBI. Obviously my intentions to return had reached her, and I didn't think twice about my answer now. I was replacing my own replacement – the poor soul was apparently dying to leave.

On the way to my old apartment, I passed the CBI building.

The familiar building with its warm brown bricks, the familiar faces of the gate guard and security guards standing outside.

I missed my team so much.

We wrote emails every once in a while and sometimes they even called me, but we were all busy. We never really got a lot of chances to catch up.

Well, we _did_ catch up on the Red John case.

About a year and a half after I left, they finally found him. Cho called me the night after the inevitable showdown, from outside in the interrogation room. My heart jumped up into my throat and it felt like the entire world around me became fuzzy and unclear. I think everyone could have guessed my first question: did Jane kill him? The answer – after a _terribly_ long, suspense-filled pause - was no.

He surely would have if he had gotten the opportunity to. But thankfully at the very time they caught Red John, Jane was in hospital. He had been shot in the shoulder while pulling off one of his stupid tricks. Didn't I always tell him someone would end up in hospital in the end? But on the other hand… did he ever listen to anything I was saying?

Cho also told me that Jane was furious as hell. I could understand that, of course. He had made it clear from the beginning that his intention was to kill Red John, and in the end he didn't even know when everything was going down. The hospital was apparently calling to inform them they had to sedate the furious man.

Red John was gone now. Rigsby hadput a bullet in his head; it was self-defence.

After that night, Cho called again to tell her some more upsetting news. Jane had disappeared. She felt so helpless over the phone, still digesting the shock of Red John's death. She remembers the anger that rose up inside her; she wanted to be there. She _should _have been there to stop him. If she had been there, would she have been able to? Here she was, on the other side of the country, while the closest thing she had to a family was suffering. Splitting apart.

He was gone for nearly a year but in the end he turned up at CBI again, walked in like nothing ever happened. She heard the news via email. The team said he didn't change a lot, except that the darker side of him - his craving for revenge – never surfaced as it used to.

He was still pulling off stupid pranks and he was still annoying the hell out of his co-workers - especially my poor replacement, who he couldn't stand at all.

My replacement was a young Scottish man called Hamish MacDonald – an amazing agent with a stellar reputation. But Jane kept calling him Ronald McDonald, teasing him about his accent and unusual colloquialisms. MacDonald was pretty much the Scottish stereotype- ginger hair, tartan shirts, polite. I fought the urge to ask if he wore kilts. Rigsby, Van Pelt and Cho, however, liked him a lot. But they always made a point to add that he was nothing compared to me.

Of course I felt proud. And flattered. But I never told them. I wanted to see them all so bad, but at the time of those emails returning to California seemed like a very faraway concept, with a nineteen-year-old mother and a screaming child knee-deep in its terrible twos in my apartment.

Now I was here; back home. I wanted to turn the car around and go right back to HQ, meet up with my old friends and co-workers and stuff my face with case closed (or in this case, welcome back) pizza. But I decided to go home first, shower and settle down a bit. My team didn't even know I was coming back yet. They wouldn't miss me for another few hours or so.

My apartment was exactly the way I left it, except that everything was covered in a thin layer of dust from standing empty for how many weeks since the new renters moved out, and all my personal stuff in boxes were gone. The moving van would only arrive a little bit later.

I collapsed onto the couch and got comfortable. I was home; tired and exhausted, but still home. I sat there relaxing for many more minutes until I heard the distinctive noise of the moving van parking outside and I went downstairs to help the movers carry my things.

After all the boxes were piled, I decided to start with the terrible job of unpacking – better start now than later.

So one by one I started opening the boxes and placed each thing on its place. The pots and the pans and all the crockery (many pieces chipped or even broken from the long trip back to California) in the kitchen, and then started with the living room, unpacking all of her books and CD's onto the bookshelf.

I found a cute photo of me, Holly and her son Ben in the bottom of the box. We were sitting in Central Park, having a picnic. It was Ben's first birthday then, and we were celebrating with cupcakes and Kool-Aid. That was a good day... Even though he was my brother's son, he looked a lot like me – big surprise there. The Lisbon kids all look exactly alike. He had the same nose and the same black hair as well; only the green eyes were missing. He had his mother's bright hazel eyes instead. Smiling I put the photo into my bookshelf and continued tidying up.

Few hours later, things were fairly in order. Pleased by my progress, I sat down on the couch again to rest after hours of working. I had a killer kink in my neck and rubbed the sore spot tiredly. My stomach growled; I should really find something to eat... but before I could make a decision, I had already fallen asleep.

_AN: next chapter will reunite lisbon with the team. thanks a lot for all the reviews. special thanks to lysjelonken!_


	4. A Wave of Christmas

**Chapter 3: A Wave of Christmas**

"Beep. Beep. Beep!"

My alarm sounded loudly in the cool morning air and I practically fell out of bed as I woke up.

I really had to get another alarm clock. This one was seriously fraying my nerves; I hated how every single day started with this annoying, obnoxious, and unfortunately completely unavoidable sound. Angrily, I slammed the snooze button, stretching languidly as I yawned.

_Oh god, I need coffee_. It's not an addiction – I just needed to get all of this sleep out of me. And caffeine is the only thing that works, so...

Begrudgingly, I stood up from the warm confines of my bed and started the morning routine. I trudged into the bathroom, stripped out of my PJ's and stepped into the shower. The cold water woke me up a little bit; as my sleepy haze slowly dissolved, I realized today was _the day. _

The day I would return to the CBI. Suddenly I was fully awake. I began humming softly and my mood brightened immediately.

I had been waiting nearly three long years for this special day to come and now it was finally there. I bounced up and down to imaginary music like a child at Christmas day, waiting to see its presents. I couldn't wait to see their faces again. I couldn't wait to see _Jane_ again. I had spoken with Jane the least of everyone on the team within these three years. Maybe that was the reason why I missed him the most.

Yes, there were times where I would swear on my life he was the most annoying person in the world, but I had strong feelings for him and I still got this warm feeling inside my chest whenever I was talking about him… or thinking of, for that matter.

Now, so many years later, I wasn't sure how I felt about him. Yes, my little crush on the blonde-haired Adonis survived longer than the usual workplace crush, especially since I practically hadn't seen or talked to him in three years, but it wasn't allowed to ever turn to more, there was a _long_ list of very good reasons_**.**_I decided that whatever happens today, I would not fall in love with Patrick Jane.

He was still in love with his wife. He would never fall in love again – least of all with someone like me.

Falling again would just end in heartbreak.

(…)

Half an hour later I was driving to the CBI Headquarters. I turned on the radio on and – big surprise - a Christmas song was on. Usually I wasn't the Christmas-y type, but this year Christmas meant coming back to my team, my _family_, and that gave me something to be grateful for.

When I approached the CBI building I suddenly began to feel nervous. This was stupid. There was nothing at all to be nervous about. I've worked with these people before; I knew we were an amazing team. But even so, I was fidgeting and nibbling on my lower lip.

It was still very early so the parking lot was nearly empty when I pulled into my old spot. I heard footsteps and looked around to see Javier, the security guard, running towards my car.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but you can't park…" He shouted as he approached, but stopped mid-sentence when he saw me.

"Oh, Agent Lisbon! What are _you_ doing here?"

"Good morning, Javier." I got out of the car and joined him on his way back to the building. "You know, I got a little bored back there in New York so I decided to come back and join the CBI again."

He smirked and opened the door to let me in.

"It's nice to have back, Agent Lisbon. Your team will be more than happy."

"Is anyone of them here yet?"

"I think Mister Jane is, but none of the others have passed my door yet."

I stepped into the building and made my way towards the elevators when Javier shouted after me. "Oh, by the way, Agent Lisbon?"

I turned around and faced him.

"Merry Christmas," he said with a huge grin.

"Merry Christmas," I replied and returned the smile. Then I stepped into the elevator and pressed 5.

(…)

When I stepped out the elevator, a wave of Christmas practically hit me in the face. Christmas was _everywhere_. A huge Christmas tree was placed in the middle of the bullpen with a pile of stuffed reindeers placed decoratively next to it. The desks were loaded with red and white candles, boxes filled with cookies, gingerbread houses and chocolate Santa's and several mistletoes were hanging from the ceiling. Somewhere a radio was playing a Christmas songs on a loop.

The desks were empty, though. There were no agents hustling and bustling in the bullpen, and there was no Jane lying on his couch, staring at "Elvis" or feigning sleep. I looked in the kitchenette, but there was still no sign. I decided to visit Hightower's office instead and smooth out some of wrinkles of returning.

This time I didn't hesitate to knock.

"Come in, please." Her voice sounded tired and annoyed through the heavy door – clearly she had come in early to finish up some slow-moving paperwork - but when I opened the door and stepped in, her mood lightened up visibly.

"Oh, Lisbon, it's you," she said.

"Good morning, Ma'am." I replied and sat down on the chair in front of her desk. "Are you ok? You look pretty… tired?"

She pointed to a stack of files lying on her desk.

"Got lots of paperwork to do, you know. And tons of complaints."

"Jane?" I asked and when she nodded we both started laughing.

"You can't imagine what a great relief it is to have you back. Agent MacDonald couldn't take it much longer."

I mentally added a Ronald to the MacDonald and smiled. Jane was right; that _was_ funny.

"Yes, I guess I can completely understand his point, but I'm very excited to be back."

"I'm happy to hear that. We've missed you here at the agency."

I could hear voices from outside the door and felt the flutter of nervousness start again.

"Did you inform my team that I was coming back?"

"Oh, no. They know MacDonald is being replaced, but they don't know about you." She winked. "I didn't want to ruin the surprise."

"Would you excuse me now? I'd like to go say hello."

"Yes, of course. Welcome back!"

We shook hands and I opened the door to get out. Halfway outside, I turned around.

"Oh, one more thing. Merry Christmas, Ma'am."

(…)

"Good morning," I heard Cho saying from the bullpen. The chorus of good mornings in reply told me that everyone had arrived by now.

I was standing just around the corner of our little section of the bullpen. They couldn't see me, but I could hear them.

"Van Pelt, what is your handbag doing on my desk?" Cho asked.

"I don't know," she replied." That's not mine."

I couldn't wait any longer and stepped into the bullpen.

Jane saw me first and breathed in sharply. The others turned around to see what Jane was staring at, jaws dropping when they saw me.

With the brightest smile on my lips, I finally choked out the words.

"Hey guys. Merry Christmas!"

_AN: I haven't decided how to continue yet but I'm working on it! I'll try to update asap. Everybody loves reviews :D_


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